Country vs City Christmas

December 14, 2011

I have lived in a small town, a big city and an acreage in the middle of nowhere. Each location had its own unique advantages and disadvantages. And depending on where I was in my life, each experience offered me the chance to explore a different way of being and in turn deepened my understanding of myself and what I value.

I am now living in a bedroom community nestled between the larger urban centres of Abbotsford, Maple Ridge and Coquitlam. For now, this smallish town suits my needs. It has all the conveniences of modern living but with the countryside and nature only a ten minute walk away.

On a recent trip to the local shopping district, I couldn't help but notice a peculiar sight in the asphalt sea of a parking lot. Several vehicles had antlers sprouting from their roofs and big red Rudolph noses bedecked the front grills.  I had heard of people dressing up their pets as reindeer, elves and even Christmas trees but I'd never heard of doing the same to your mode of transportation. Apparently, I was witnessing the latest trend in Christmas weirdness.



I remarked to my city sister, that in the Kootenay's if someones vehicle was sporting a pair of deer antlers it wasn't a good thing for either the driver or the hapless deer.  She didn't get the joke.

People's penchant for going a bit overboard with the Christmas Cheer aside, the site of gas-powered Rudolph's zipping around town turned my thoughts to the differences between Christmas in the Country and the same Holiday in Suburbia. Here is what I came up with.

In the city - I picked up my Christmas tree at the same grocery store chain where I  bought a jumbo pack of toilet paper. The tree came from a tree farm and it is perfectly shaped and lush. I have to admit it is a beautiful tree. To decorate the house I could buy a five dollar bag of pine cones at the very same grocery store or I could pop into the florists and spend an inordinate amount of money on cedar swags and a fresh wreath.

In the country - Cari and I would hike out to the back of our property armed with our axe. We'd pick out the scrawniest Charlie Brown tree we could find and drag it back through the woods to our house. To deck the halls, we would step outside the door again, this time with pruning shears in hand, and cut armfuls of cedar and white pine boughs.  We'd bring in buckets full of pine cones collected in the fall. Each room in our house with be redolent with the smell of Christmas and all of the decorations were free.

In the city - I pull eggs out of a Styrofoam container to bake my Christmas cookies. Each egg is perfectly formed, an exact duplicate of its mate in the carton.

In the Country - I'd go out to the chicken coop and gather the requisite eggs from our happy, healthy free range and incredibly spoiled chickens. Depending on which hen contributed her eggs, each one was a slightly different colour ranging from white, to ecru, to the warmest shade of coco. Even their size and shape varied from extra-large and round to the smallest of the small and oval in form.

In the City - Candles are light to provide ambiance. And in most houses when the fire is glowing in the hearth it was because someone flipped a switch on the gas fireplace.

In the Country - if Cari and I light candles it meant we had been plunged into the dark because of yet another power outage. They inevitably happened after dark and just when we were putting together dinner. Usually the outage was due to heavy winds or snow or sometimes because some idiot decided to cut down a tree to close to the hydro lines.

We'd also pull out the battery powered lanterns and our flashlights that were always kept on the ready.  Even with the power on, we would have a fire burning in the wood stove to push back the cold seeping in around the windows. To get a fire going required, splitting and stacking (these chores done months before the first snow), hauling it into the house, starting the fire and constantly feeding the flames which means heading back outside to bring in yet another load.

In the City - to many people, Boxing Day is about heading out to the mall or big box stores to get deals on things they didn't get for Christmas. And now, it seems, you don't even have to wait until after Christmas as many retailers start their Boxing Day sales the week leading up to Christmas.

In the Country - depending on the amount of snow that had fallen over Christmas, Cari and I would spend the day shoveling the driveway so we could get the gate open at the front of the property. Once that was done, we would stroll down the lane usually meeting up with our neighbours who had taken the opportunity to work off some of calories from their Christmas feast.

Up the road, our friend and her husband would strap on their snowshoes and after traipsing through the forest they would head up to the local hot springs for a soak.

In the City - The evening is sparkling with the many coloured lights on the houses. Some displays are so artistic they take your breath away.

In the Country - We would walk down our driveway and look up at the stars. Without the ambient lights from a city and no street lights on our road even the milky way could be seen in all its glory. It would take your breath away.

No matter where I live, when the darkest, longest nights of the year are upon me I am reminded the holiday season is about celebrating the coming of the light, to rekindling hope and most importantly expressing gratitude for the love and support of the people in my life.


So whether you are sitting around the glow of electric lights strung on a perfectly manicured tree or around the crackle and pop of a real fire burning on the grate the one constant during the season is not the environment you call home but the amazing, loving and generous people you find gathered there.

Merry Christmas Everyone.

The Curious Incident Of The Cat Condo

December 11, 2011

I have lived with cats for over fifteen years. Over that time, I've come to realise my furry four-legged companions are very much like small children. They are constantly getting into things they shouldn't, whenever I head into the bathroom to do the necessary they seem to think it is an invitation to come and visit, they need constant stimulation and above all they like routine.

I recently moved and downsized my living space. I was concerned the cats would have trouble adjusting to our new digs. In my former residence, my three trouble-makers had a long hallway to scurry up and down when the midnight crazies hit and they had an enclosed screen porch in which they could enjoy wildlife watching while getting some fresh air without the dangers of being outside cats.

I nick-named the porch, the Catio as they used it more than I did. Also, their favourite place to sit in the Catio was a tube-shaped cat condo covered in carpet.  It was second-hand when I bought it and it had made the trip from Calgary to our farm. I placed it in the Catio and for five years it remained out there and was to be the cats preferred bird watching post.  I had witnessed many a pitched cat-fight to see who would get the prime seat on the top of cat condo.  Alas, it had seen better days, so I decided it wasn't going to make the move to suburbia.

My new basement apartment although equipped with large picture windows was sadly lacking in anything comparable to the Catio and now my feline friends were without their carpeted perch.

Not wanting to deprive my furbies of things to do and wanting them to have an easy transition, I decided to buy them a new condo to replace the one I'd left behind.  When I saw one in a store flyer, I was thrilled. Not too expensive and it was covered in beige carpet so not too intrusive and would blend in with the humans decor.
What cat wouldn't be thrilled? It was covered in plush carpet with the added bonus of sisal covered pillars, perfect for sharpening claws. It also boasted two platforms in which to perch and a hidey-hole in the bottom for a little quiet time. Purrfect.

Unfortunately, the store was sold out of this popular item, but I was informed a new order was coming in on the following Monday. I returned on the Monday, to find the store had only one left. I scooped it up and excitedly rushed to the check-out.  At home, I began assembling it immediately not wanting to delay the pure joy my cats would have exploring and climbing their own little feline jungle gym.

The instructions were a two-page diagram with numbered and lettered pictures. No written instructions. The directions rivaled anything from Ikea in their vagueness and I was tempted to email Dan Brown and plead with him to decipher the symbols.

Despite the arcane assembly sheet, I had only one misstep and thirty minutes later I placed the cat condo in a prime location in front of the living room window.

But where were the cats? The cat condo sat empty and I went looking for my three wayward kitties. I found them blissfully playing on and in the empty box the stupid condo came in.

It's been a week since I gifted my cats with the marvel of cat condo supremacy and still it sits unused, even after I laced it with a generous sprinkling of catnip.

The cardboard box on the other hand, has been a huge hit.

Labels: cat condo, cat toys, catio, cats

There's No Place Like Home

December 05, 2011

It's December and normally I'd be looking out the window of my snug farmhouse watching the snow fall on my acreage in the Kootenay's. Instead, I'm sitting with my cat, watching birds flock around the feeder outside my cozy little apartment window in suburban Mission. There is no snow. The grass is green, albeit a bit crunchy underfoot with the morning frost.

times idyllic and at others nightmarish. If asked to do it again, knowing what I do now, I wouldn't hesitate to give up my Jimmy Choos for Wellies all over again.

And as much as our hearts were joined with our land, we finally faced the reality that living in an economically depressed village with no signs of recovery wasn't a tenable situation. I was working two and three jobs and still not covering just our basic needs. Every year we stayed out on the farm meant digging ourselves ever deeper into debt. We had only one choice, sell the farm and move in with our other sister living in the Fraser Valley.

As we said goodbye to our beloved farm and drove the ten hours to what would be our new home, I had ample time to reflect on my experience living in the Kootenay's. Hardship and struggle burns away all that is insubstantial and illuminates what is really important, what is valued.

I was starting over again with a much clearer vision of who I was and what I needed. One of the most important things to me was to be in a place that feels like home. But what does that mean to me now?  I thought living in the country, away from the fast-paced big city, was the answer. Now, I didn't know.

As we made the final leg of our trip into the Fraser Valley, I defined what home meant to me as five essential things.

1. Having my basic needs met and included in that list of food, shelter and clothing and, just as important, feeling safe.
2. Being connected to friends and family. Now I live with two of my sisters, and my beautiful nieces. My Aunts and Uncles are a ferry-ride away. Thanks to modern technology I'm still connected to my close-knit group of friends whether they live in Alberta or BC.
3. Living debt free even if that means I will no longer be able to own my own home. In ten years, I've downsized from 1300 sq.ft. to 923 sq.ft. and now my apartment is 700 sq.ft. Surprisingly everything I own fits.
4. Being in nature. While four acres is nice, even a small plot of land where I can stick my fingers into the soil and nurture plants is enough to feed my soul.

5. Being surrounded by things that hold meaning for me and are beautiful in both form and function. Books, pictures, my Heinkel knife, freshly ground, dark roast coffee, my heat pack, and a pair of fuzzy slippers.

The Wise Woman Project ~ April: Marney's Story, Heeding the Winds of Change

April 04, 2011

As I sit here getting ready to start my story, I am still perplexed as to why I have been asked to contribute to - and wonder how, I even come close to fitting in this category of “Wise Women”. Truthfully, I wonder how “wise” I am at times!

There have been many decisions made over the course of my life that I imagine had a few people shaking their heads – like the time my husband and I decided on a cold, windy and stormy Winnipeg, winter night, to quit our jobs, sell everything and move out west! We had taken a camping vacation to BC the previous June and even though it rained for 11 out of 14 days – and we camped in a two-man pup tent, it didn’t deter us from deciding BC would be our home! We had fallen in love with the mountains and trees and beautiful blue lakes and within 9 months (hmmm), a move, our new life and adventure – along with many ups and downs, began to take shape.

With a lot of excitement and a little bit of research, we jumped head first into buying a business in Nanaimo. Both my husband and I had experience in this particular field and for a few years, we did very well. Then the economy hit and as a result of a few not so great decisions, we crashed along with the economy – we pretty much lost it all. Many lean years of taking whatever jobs we could – and not being happy, had us once again searching for “that something” that we would both enjoy and be happy with – the reason we moved to BC in the first place.

Our searching took us on many a road trip! The weekends we had off together saw us hop in the car and drive until the gas tank went empty. We did almost every back road there was looking for the “right” place, but at the time, it just wasn’t there. On one of our road trips, we ended up in Tofino and the bright idea of building cabins for accommodation popped into my mind. I’m not so sure my husband was keen on the idea, but the idea just stuck with me and as a result, my “dream career” began to unfold.

We were still both working in Nanaimo when we decided to take a trip to The Kootenays to visit friends who had previously moved there. On a day trip, we drove to Nelson and immediately fell in love with the community! As the saying goes, sometimes things happen for a reason and because of a couple of circumstances – my boss decided to shut his business down and my husband injured himself at work, within a year, we were packing up and moving to “our cabin in the woods”. Once again the idea of building cabins resurfaced, so off we went, traveling the back roads.

Never having worked in the accommodation business, I managed to gain employment at a small motel, just to see how it would "fit". It was not easy switching from a desk job to a cleaning job, but within a few months, I knew I was doing exactly what I wanted to do. With 5 years under my belt, it was time to start looking for property once again. We had a list of requirements that we felt were essential to fulfilling “our dream”, but when we showed it to our real estate agent in Nelson, he immediately said “This property doesn’t exist”! I guess I didn’t hear him very well, because we just kept looking! The day that we headed towards Nakusp was one of those days that I had pretty much given up hope of ever finding that “perfect” place and I was sinking to an all time low – could the agent be right? We decided to call it a day and were heading back to Nelson when that “something” jumped off the page of the real estate flyer at us! We were already 20 minutes away when we turned the car around to check out a listing in Fauquier!

Talk about fate! The property, listed in the flyer, had no FOR SALE sign on the driveway and so we drove up and down the road a couple of times searching for it. Fortunately, there was a sign at the top of one driveway that said it was a B & B. Figuring the people there might be able to help (B&B people are always friendly!), we drove down to check it out. When we got to the bottom, a woman appeared from the house and after recognizing her home in the flyer, invited us in! Even though the house was what we affectionately called – “our funky hippie house”, it was love at first sight and I knew right there and then, this was the place I needed to be! That property “that didn’t exist” - really did!

A few months later, we purchased “our home”, sold our place in Nelson and started building our dream. It wasn’t easy and there was an endless amount of work, but at the end of the first year, our first cabin was built and An Inn for Two was born. At first, things were slow and we need to have outside jobs as well - just to pay the bills, but before long, the second cabin was under construction and our name started to become known. People from all around the world were discovering our little getaway and we were thrilled.

Life was good. No, it truly was wonderful and we were on our way to living our dream. Then, 7 years into our dream, my husband passed away. A new feeling of loss and emptiness, uncertainty and doubt emerged and I had to decide what I was to do. I faced a whole new challenge and I really didn’t know if I was up to it. But before he passed on, I remember my husband saying – “There is nothing here you can’t do”! With those words, I promised him – and myself, that I would not make any major decisions – particularly about moving, for a year. When I told a friend this, he said, “when that year is over, take 1 more” – so that is what I did. With the help of many wonderful neighbours and friends - as well as my own stubbornness and determination, 4 years later, I am still on this wonderful piece of land I call home.

There is now a new special someone in my life and I hear the winds calling my name again, but they are still in the distance and until they reach me once more, I will continue to live my dream and remain on the land that I love so much and which is such a part of me.


1. What are the three things you most cherish?
The years I had with my husband.
My family, friends and my new special someone!
Where I live, the beauty that surrounds me, and the time to enjoy it.

2, If you could give your younger self a piece of advice, what would it be?
You don’t necessarily need to “do it all” – you just need to do what’s best for you, so listen to your heart, trust your instincts, follow your dreams and when you feel “right” about something – go for it!

3, What are you most proud of when it comes to your life?
An Inn for Two



Bio: Born and raise in Winnipeg, then a move to Vancouver Island, followed by a move to Nelson and then the little town of Fauquier.



To visit Marney’s romantic cabins in the woods check out her website: http://www.innfortwo.com/

The Wise Women Project ~ March: From Crunching Numbers to Creating in Glass

March 07, 2011

Ups, downs, left turns, right turns, u-turns! Life has taken many turns to bring me where I am today – happier than I’ve ever been and ready for what life throws at me next!

Born and raised in Cranbrook BC, I high-tailed it Calgary AB in search of opportunity and excitement as soon as I finished school, and there I spent the next 18 years.

Life for the most part was good. I had lots of friends, lots of fun. I loved my city! I had worked my way up the corporate ladder, had a good job in oil & gas accounting. I was doing pretty well for myself, was on my second brand new home, in a nice new subdivision. My friends commented on my excellent taste in home décor, I had nice clothes, an active social life. Like I said, life was good.

But I wasn’t happy. There were some things missing. One, I was lonely. I was still working through the frogs, had yet to find my prince. Two, I detested my job. Detest may seem like a strong word, but it’s pretty accurate in this case. I wasn’t an accountant type! How did I get here? I love people - talking to people, helping people – not sitting at a computer staring at spreadsheets and numbers all day. This isn’t me at all, I thought. But that just gave rise to a larger problem – what is “me”?

One evening, over wine with a friend, I decided enough was enough. I wasn’t getting any younger after all - it was time to pursue happiness. I couldn’t face thinking that I would be in the same place and the same job 5 years down the line. This meant pretty drastic changes, but I was ready.

Meanwhile, my partner was going through the same things that I was – he was unfulfilled professionally and not happy with the path he had chosen. One weekend we went to visit a friend of ours who had just made the move to the little town of Nakusp on the Arrow Lakes, and immediately, completely and irrevocably fell in love with the area. With nothing tying us to Canmore, we sold our home, quit our jobs and off we went to the Kootenays. We were pretty sure that we would find everything we wished for there – idyllic country lifestyle, I would become a successful artist, and my partner would find his calling as well.

The first year, things were great; we created a great studio for me to work in, got married, and converted an old barn on the property to an art gallery where I sold my art as well as that of 10 other local artists. I found galleries throughout the Kootenays that wished to carry my creations. I loved working on my art, and began to give glass working lessons.

By year two, the local forestry industry had shut down and the global economic downturn began. I was struggling internally – while I loved my art, it didn’t come as easy as I felt it should. If I was a true artist, and this was my passion, shouldn’t it just flow from me almost effortlessly?? My practical “accountant” side was also getting a little bit antsy; the starving artist routine wasn’t for me! And while part of me loved life in the country, I missed being able to go out and do things. I again felt the stirring of discontent and sensed another change coming – more personal growth on the horizon. I needed more mental and social stimulation, so I began to volunteer. Great decision, as I discovered that I had a passion for community service. I planned events and fundraisers and asked for donations and scheduled volunteers and generally had a blast! We toughed it out in Nakusp for another 18 months, but eventually were forced to move to find work. My husband found work in Creston, so off we went. I concentrated on looking for work that would enable me to pursue the passions that I had discovered in Nakusp.

Quickly I found my dream job – albeit with two small problems – it was in Cranbrook, and it was only temporary. I spent the next six months living with family in Cranbrook during the week and spending weekends at home with my husband. Life was good and I felt sure that I was on the right track. As my six month contract drew to a close, all the planets seemed to align, and a full time, permanent job opened up. I have never had this much fun working for a living! We moved to Cranbrook – back where I started. Is this it for me? Any more turns on the horizon? I don’t know, but ultimately – I don’t care! If this is just the latest adventure, and there is more to come – well then, stay tuned!

Three things I cherish:
1. My husband, my love – unrelentingly supportive, has always urged me to pursue my dreams. My biggest champion and source of strength, stability, and sanity when I need to look outside myself for these things…

2. My family and friends – the support, the reality checks when needed – the honesty of these relationships keeps me grounded

3. My ability to look at adversity as opportunity. When we were forced to leave Nakusp for financial reasons, I referred to the situation as “Perry and Lori’s next great adventure!”

Advice I would give my younger self:
Everything, everything, everything happens for a reason. Good or bad, all of your experiences force you down a certain path, enable you to gain certain skills and experiences; in short – make you who you are today. Be grateful for them, cherish them, look for the lesson. The lesson I am currently learning – work / life balance!

What am I most proud of:
I am not afraid to take chances in order to pursue happiness. I will never “settle”. I enjoy the lessons that each new chapter in my life gives me, and enjoy seeing myself continually grow.


Lori is the Revenue Development Coordinator for the Canadian Cancer Society, East Kootenay Region. She is in charge of all their fundraising activities from Golden through to Creston BC. She lives in Cranbrook BC with her husband Perry, two dogs and two cats.

To visit the Canadian Cancer Society click HERE

Review of Sherry Ficklin's Newest Release, Military Brats, After Burn

February 21, 2011

Description:  Reece Barnet and her father have just relocated to sunny North Carolina, Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point to be exact. It's another new town and another new school. But just as Reece is starting to fit in, a rash of bomb threats rocks her father's experimental aircraft squadron. When the authorities track the threats to Reece's school, she decides to do some investigating of her own. Unfortunately, the more she digs, the more it looks like her new boyfriend is the culprit.

When the unthinkable happens and her father is rushed to the hospital, it becomes a race against time as Reece fights to protect her father, clear her boyfriend, and discover the surprising truth of the person behind it all!



Review:  With Military Brats, Afterburn, the first novel in her second YA fiction series, Sherry Ficklin has firmly established her rightful place as an author who understands teenagers and the complex nature of their lives. She has a keen understanding of their desires, dreams, and the intense relationships that are part and parcel of their world. Her characters are at once recognizable but made real by their quirks and short-comings.

Ms. Ficklin has created in her protagonist, Reece, a fully realized character whose moral compass made her a social pariah in her last school but even with the pressures of fitting into a new school and a new military base she doesn’t sway from living her own truth no matter what the cost.

Although the novel is ultimately a coming-of-age story masterfully interwoven with an intriguing mystery, Ms. Ficklin doesn’t shy away from dealing with the all too real issues of losing a parent, social cliques, mental illness, abuse and the unique stress children of military personnel are faced with in a country at war.

Military Brats balances these darker subjects with Sherry’s trademark humour, succinct dialogue and page turning action.

Those readers familiar with Sherry’s work won’t be disappointed in her newest offering and I have no doubt she will attract even more fans with this, her latest YA series released by Rebel Ink Press.

Title: After Burn
Series: Military Brats Book One
Author: Sherry D. Ficklin
Genre: Young Adult/Contemporary/Mystery
Publisher: Rebel Ink Press
Author Website: http://www.sherryficklin.com/?q=node/56

The Last Piece of Cake – Holding on to Abundance

December 15, 2010

I’m staring at the last piece of cake on the kitchen counter. It’s been sitting there for two weeks, slowly getting stale, the butter icing cracked, the once deliciously moist chocolate concoction now inedible.

I do this every time, whether it’s my homemade chocolate cake or store bought butter tarts. I just can’t seem to make myself take the last slice, piece, or morsel of some sweet confection that days before I devoured with relish. And so, it sits on the counter slowly becoming hard as rock and not enjoyable by anyone.

This strange habit is one I share with my sister. Because I’m not the only one in the family who does this, I have to believe this behaviour began in our childhood where there was a strict rule that we girls were forbidden to take the last of any treat. That was to be left to our Stepfather, the man of the house.

This rule speaks silent volumes on how we were raised to put our needs below a man’s and not just when it came to dessert. Good girls never take the last piece of anything, even if you want it. This wasn’t just a spoken rule but a message modeled over and over by our mother who, to this day, has difficulty believing that she deserves any kindness from life. She chose to dim her light, to be smaller than who she was to gain economic security at the detriment of her children.

But, I’m not a little girl anymore and neither is my sister. We are both divorced and quite enjoying the freedom of living our lives the way we choose without compromise or apology. So why does this habit persists?

I’ve pondered this question and discovered what was once a lesson in putting my needs last has morphed into a futile exercise in holding off feelings of deprivation, a desperate attempt to feed my soul’s hunger for prolonged joy and abundance. If that last piece of cake still exists then I have something sweet to look forward too. If I eat it then it’s gone forever and I’m left with the empty, hopeless state of despair where all that is in my life are bills, debt, work, and worry.

Despite this irrational action, I’m sane enough to know life is about change, the ebb and flow of seasons, the hills and valleys that separate the joys and sorrows that come with being alive. Leaving the cake so that no one can enjoy it doesn’t hold back the pain anymore than not going to the mail will stop the bills from coming in every month.

In searching for a replacement for this behaviour, I came across three things that are much better for my mind, body and spirit than a transitory caloric indulgence. These gifts are always available and are meant to be indulged in often. They are gratitude, love and generosity. Perhaps they are the best things to reach for in times of strife.

So I’m making a promise to myself no matter what is happening in my life I will indulge frequently in gratitude for this life, the enduring love of my sisters and the generosity of my friends. As I receive these three things freely I too will be on the giving side of this beautiful equation.

And when life and my bank account allows for an apple tart or a tray of fresh-baked cinnamon buns I will savor them in the moment and when one portion of dessert is left I will share it with my sister so that we may both enjoy the last piece of cake.